Have a spouse, parent or significant other who is non-ETL? And maybe they don’t care about their health at all, or they care a bit, but not enough for you? You fear that one day, they may end up with an irreversible symptom of years of SAD eating like a heart attack or cancer. Maybe you feel it’s unfair that they eat the way they do, because you might be the one to have to take care of them if, god forbid, something like this goes wrong in the future.
I get it. Sounds selfish and I get it.
I get it ‘cuz I wrote it and that’s what I think. :P
It’s a touchy subject, but it’s a very real thing to be concerned about.
I have this feeling quite often in my own life. I would love it if my husband was 100% Nutritarian, and didn’t have his Reese’s peanut butter cup and Starbucks mocha addiction anymore. I wish he wouldn’t eat meat sometimes, and cheese other times, and all the salt, on and on and on.
We’ve had discussions about it so many times in our relationship, I lost track. Some talks loving and caring. Others…not as loving or caring. Which is ironic, because the message is the most loving and caring it could be.
Funny thing is, I’ve had the same discussions with myself so many times, and they happen all day every day, about choosing well. I am just a bit more motivated than my spouse and it’s gotten easier over the years as I’ve improved.
But the magic in our relationship never came from us being the same person. In fact, it was that we were exact compliments to each other that attracted me to him in the first place. He was stable and grounded and a realist. I was all over the place and passionate and an eternal optimist. He was a breath of fresh air to me when I met him, and I continue to respect and adore these qualities about him to this day…and wouldn’t change them for the world.
So the food thing has to be a thing that I learn to accept as well. He wasn’t perfect when I met him food-wise, and probably never will be…but I’m betting I won’t be perfect either.
I know from years of watching loved ones and relatives flail with various addictions, and from picking apart my own addictions to food…that no one will ever act if they’re told to. They have to want it for themselves.
Like I would never change something if you told me to.
Being told what to do is annoying. :-P
I would only change if I truly wanted to at the moment, ya know?
So therefore, we can’t expect Telling to work with our loved ones.
We know this already, but it’s good to be reminded that the best possible outcome can be expected if we *show* what it can be like to eat this way, choose this path of health, and be a shining example of the success it can bring.
Others naturally want that for themselves without us even having to say a word.
You can’t demand change from people, you have to inspire it.
This is easier said than done, of course. ;)
Keep in mind that Eat to Live can be a very solitary journey at times, when our loved ones aren’t on board. But take it from me, they WILL take notice, but they will do it on their own timeline. And make sure to use the available resources to stay in touch with others who are doing the same thing. Like:
Join Dr Fuhrman’s membership site to commune in the Forum
Join Facebook groups
Join vegan or healthy eating meetups in your area
Start your own ETL/healthy eating meetup in your area (I did here in Vegas!)
See if any of your close friends are interested in buddying up with you for phone calls, or checkins (they don’t even have to be part of ETL, just interested in health or helping you be accountable)
Keep reading the books and watching videos online for motivation and more info