Join me for Part 4 of this 4-Part series on the 4 Basics of Eat to Live and Weight Loss! Today we delve into 3 Emotional Tools (body confidence, self care and worthiness!) that you can use on your journey to learn more about the weight-loss/consistency aspect of Eating to Live.
Links Mentioned:
Free 9-Day Eat to Live Challenge: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com
Free live 5-day challenges: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com/challenge
Eat to Live Family: http://www.nourishyourlifestyle.com/family
*affiliate links
YouTube auto-generated transcript:
when i lost weight after my first
pregnancy with my daughter this was back in
i was losing the weight it took about a
year to lose that weight and
i remember going through such a strange
transition during because
getting up to the weight that i got to
which was almost 175 pounds on that
pregnancy so i gained quite a bit i
gained like 50 pounds on that pregnancy
getting up to that weight felt so foreign to me
and so it felt fairly easy to come down
the first 10 20 pounds something like
That but then like the 130s and 140s felt so
normal to me because i had lived in that
space for a long time in my life earlier
getting down to the 120s 130s felt a little
a little normal for me because i had
been before many times
but then when i started to come down
below 120 it was a whole new game
for some reason we’re going to talk a
lot more about this kind of thing as we go
but i had to really really adjust to the
idea of being in the tens right the one
tens kind of a thing and this is a normal
body weight for my size i’m only five
two five three
But it took so much focus to
change my mindset around that
specific set of weights that i was
now getting into and i want to talk today a lot about that journey
and how it relates to these the final
set of weight loss tools and eat to live
tools that i’m going to give you today
hi i’m sheri alberts and this is the
watering mouth podcast and i’m going to
teach you to eat to live lose the weight
and love the process for good episode six
okay so here we are on the fourth and final session
in this series we’re talking about the
four basics of eat to live and weight loss
this week we are going to be talking about
the emotional tools
that i use to give you like last week we
talked about the emotional tools for
mindset this week we’re talking about
the heart this week we’re talking about
that ooey gooey stuff that you might not be super
good at yet or think that it’s very
important but hopefully i can change
your mind by the end of this podcast
alright so this week is dedicated to the
emotional tools that i give in the eat
to live academy and the eat to live
family and all my private coaching to
help someone
release the weight
keep the weight off and stay consistent
all right now these are the tools of the heart so
i just want to read this little
paragraph that i
read once from an eat to live family
member who’d just come into the family
and she had started looking through the
materials and learning things in the
academy and seeing how we do things in
there and i just want to read
a post that she put up one time here’s what she said
she said thank you i feel like this is a
whole body mind soul experience of
healing surrendering
letting go of old thought patterns
memories mentally and spiritually in my
heart center allowing more self-worth
and love in and physically integrating
all this sort of holy trinity she says
i couldn’t have said it better
what we do around here
so what she’s touching on is um
it’s kind of this word the holistic the whole
person right so we’re not talking about
just the food we’re not talking about
just how to eat to live or what things
to eat or when you should eat them just
the sort of nitty-gritty details
all those things are quite important and
we definitely want to focus on educating
ourselves on those aspects of the
lifestyle but we say lifestyle because
it’s not just about the food and
especially the way that i come at this
with helping someone learn how to do
this consistently it has so much more to do
with just that or just the weight loss
and so as we’re wrapping up this series
here let me tell you a little bit about
those tools the three tools for our heart now
last week we talked about the mind and
the mind you know talking about this
idea that our thoughts create our
feelings and our feelings create our
actions so if we want the actions of
eating healthfully you know the results
of losing the weight all that kind of
stuff we have to learn about the
thoughts and the feelings first so
we learned about that last week and some
of those tools that we can use but this
week what i really want to talk about is
that the tools that maybe you’re not sold
yet are super important right it might
be those tools that you don’t
necessarily believe you should focus on
because what you might be thinking you
need to focus on is how to prep and plan
better and you know if i could just get better at
prepping or if i could just get better
at chopping or cooking or if i didn’t
waste so much produce or if i could just
do this lifestyle without spending so
much right we’re talking about these
very small details that yeah we want to
get good at those and they’re important
but what is actually important is number
one overall our feelings the
feelings now when we talk about feelings
we’re like
ugh like that can’t be it
you know it has to be just about prep it
has to be just about the practical
things and as i say those are important
but actually what’s going to get you
to where you need to go is by first
concentrating on
that inner work that we need to do on
Ourselves even
so like things like are we worth it do
we deserve this time
do we want to put ourselves first um
if we get to that weight can we keep it
there because we think we don’t deserve it or
or can we keep it because
you know we feel like it’s something
that we can maintain right see so all of
these thoughts go into it but our
thoughts create our feelings so if we’re
constantly coming at this from a place of dejected
you know failure lack of confidence
you know just feeling like we’ll never
make it we never are going to make it so
how can we get our inner
like inner heart and inner mind in a
place of deserving
calm peaceful empowerment like i always
say right when we feel
confident and we feel like this
belongs to us this is our identity that’s
when we maintain that’s when um
maintenance and
consistency become no big deal now
this is a concept that maybe you don’t
understand yet but i want to maybe be
the first one to tell you it and i want
you to just have an open mind when we go
into this and i want you to just consider
what if she’s right
okay what if she’s right
how could i incorporate this how now i’m
telling you that the things that we’re
going to learn here on this podcast
these are the deep this is the deep ones
right this isn’t how much
onion to chop every day and eat right
this is the deep stuff so we’re talking
deep seeded stuff that you’ve probably
been carrying along with you like
baggage right like this really heavy
luggage with you
your whole life and maybe you don’t even
think about it and maybe you don’t even
consider it you don’t even think that
it’s important to work on it and to
reduce that amount of baggage until the
point where we can get rid of it but
here’s the main point that i want to make first
if we want to be consistent with our
healthy eating and our weight loss and
we want to like put down all that stuff
about do i deserve it am i worthy of it
will i be able to maintain it so we want
to put down all that stuff
the way to doing that is by
acting now before we’ve gotten to our
goal we need to act now the way we’re
going to act when we’ve gotten to our
goal so everyone is always talking about
like challenges right and i do a lot of
challenges for my audience as well
because it’s my it’s my in road to
convincing you that this is the way that
it might work for you and that you know
you should just give it a try
but actually challenges are not the long-term
goal right why because challenges are
by definition a short-term thing right
it’s a five-day challenge it’s a 14-day
challenge it’s whatever it’s a 21 day
challenge it’s a however long challenge
but a challenge by definition is has a
you know it’s finite it has an end a
beginning and an end
but when we really want to eat to live
and we really want to maintain that
weight loss forever we don’t want to
just be maintaining we want it to just
be our weight all right we don’t even
want to have to think about weight
anymore in a way that
is difficult or work or requires any
kind of thought really we just want it
to be who we are we just want to be that
whatever our goal weight is right
so in order to get there
and stay there we have to start learning
to act that way now
so we don’t have to be perfect we don’t
have to know exactly what it’s going to
be like when we get there but we
we can start practicing what that looks
like so for instance
let’s say we wanted to weight train
here’s another here’s just a unrelated
example let’s say we wanted to tone our
muscles and build our muscles right
let’s just say tone our muscles same say
we’ve never really done much weight
training in our life and we want to tone our muscles
we start toning our muscles and we do
maybe some hit workouts for a while or
maybe we do some yoga or we do some you
know any of these things can get our
bodies to a toned place now let’s say
yoga for instance because that’s pretty
accessible to everybody
let’s say that we do yoga for
three months say right and we start to
notice our body is really getting toned
and strong and we’re becoming more
flexible and all these kinds of things now
in order to maintain that in order to
stay at that vision of ourselves do we
quit yoga at that point once we’ve
gotten to that goal no of course not
right we keep doing the yoga because the
yoga is what got us to the place
where we needed to go where we wanted to
go where our goal was right but we don’t
just shut off what got us there thinking
that that’s gonna just stay indefinitely
right that’s not how it works obviously
same thing with eat to live
or it’s like house cleaning right like
you take all this time to clean your
house because you want it to be really
clean and once you get it there
cool now i can just relax for the rest
of my life right i wish that’s how it
worked but that’s not how it works if
you want your house to stay clean it’s a
constant thing you just keep doing it
right another one that i always think of is
you know having kids and i think
one of the things that i really do not
enjoy very much is having to feed them
like three to five times a day that’s
not my favorite pastime sometimes you
know i enjoy sitting down with them to a
meal or whatever but a lot of the times
like okay lunch time now what are we
gonna eat right okay dinner time now
what do we what do we have for breakfast
right it’s just this constant like
always thinking about what we’re going
to be eating even if i use a meal plan
it’s still like i have to like make the
food you know i have to like plan ahead
and do the things and make them the food
and feed them whatever and so but if i
want the child to live
right that’s a thing we have to just
keep doing it’s this idea like it is the work right
so in order for us to maintain whatever
goal it is we’re going for we have to
learn to act that way now and we have to
get good at acting that way until it
becomes second nature right how did we
get good at brushing our teeth well we
just brushed our teeth a lot you know we
didn’t like we didn’t always complain
about it we did when we were little and
then we stopped complaining about it and
because we realized the benefits of it
right so it takes this maintenance
but it’s not just right and so so let me
relate this now more towards what we’re
talking about today which is the tools
of the heart the
inner tools the feeling tools here so
the things that we’re going to talk about today
when we talk about the four basics of
eat to live and weight loss we have to
understand and incorporate embody
the spirit of these tools now you’re not
going to get it right away if you’ve
never worked on this before but we can
keep working on it and getting better
and better at it and the better we get
at it the more it’s going to affect our
weight loss and healthy eating journey
okay so these tools i’ve got um kind of
three buckets today so one of them is
sort of self-love
self-confidence body image bucket so to
speak then we’ve got the self-care
bucket and then we have the worthiness bucket okay now
these three things that we’re going to
be talking about are all
very we talk about it very very in-depth
in the eat to live family which is um
well so in the eat love academy is my
program the digital coaching program
that i have which is part of the eat to live family
so the eat to live academy has eight
weeks of lessons videos
and it will teach you the foundation of
my coaching program if you were to
become a private client of mine and i
put you through the eat-tell of academy
you would have the whole foundation
before we even got started then we could
start to work on your personal things specific to you
so we start with each live academy
because it gives all these tools first
and what we’re talking about today and
what we’ve been talking about for the
last few weeks is specifically these
things okay and and we’re going to keep
going into this stuff so you’ll get more
and more information on this as we go
but if you joined the eat to live family
which is my monthly
affordable group coaching membership
we’ve got you know hundreds of people in
there doing all this work together and
supporting each other
you get access to that eat to live
academy automatically just by being a
family member and so you can learn all
that and there okay so let’s talk number
one about the first set of tools which
is self-love self-confidence and body
image okay so we’re going to do this one
real briefly because i have a much more
in-depth program in the academy on this
but the reason that i find this one so
important is very similarly what i was
just saying with the idea of wanting to act now
and feel and think now
the way we’re going to feel and think
and act when we get to our goal so
the issue here is that everyone always
thinks that when they get there it’s
going to be so much better than when
they get here and the the getting there
is what’s going to make them
is is is the goal right so that
once they reach that weight
that weight is what’s going to make them
love themselves at that point okay now
this is the biggest fallacy
this is the biggest issue in the weight
loss community and also the healthy
eating community
is that once we get really good at it
it’s just going to be so easy and we’re
going to feel so much better and just
the being able to slip on our pants
easily in the morning is gonna make
everything perfect right
but here’s the reality
this is the you know i’m sorry to be the
bearer of bad news but
being able to slip your pants on easily
being able to go grocery i mean
clothes shopping without having too much worry
you know only having one size of clothes
in your closet etc
that only creates one
fun aspect of your life
but if you got to that place
using self-hatred and self-loathing
and you know disgust and um forcing
yourself to do things that you don’t want to do
when you get to that place of that
weight loss the last thing you’re going
to want to do is keep doing what you did
to get there because what you did to get
there was painful like who wants to hate
themselves for the rest of their lives
who wants to
you know look in the mirror and
beat themselves up for the rest of their lives
because what happens is when we get
there and we see that new reflection it
doesn’t feel like us
we don’t think we deserve it we don’t
think it’s us we it does not feel like
our own identity and so therefore we
become attacked with our own thoughts
again at that point of like
well i don’t deserve this i’m never
going to be able to keep it it won’t work
i i can’t hold on to this this isn’t me
right because what we’ve done the whole time
is just beat ourselves up over it so we weren’t really
accepting the journey we weren’t really
learning to become
good at the steps that it takes to do
that we just kept thinking when i get
there that’s going to make me feel
better right but what we need to make us
feel better is actually the journey we
actually need the steps that we take to
get there to feel good because when we
get there that’s sustainable right
feeling good about the journey
learning to love ourselves during the
journey so if we have done things
throughout that journey in order to feel
better we will feel better when we get
to the weight and it won’t be the weight loss
or the you know the understanding of how
to use the kitchen tools and getting
good in the kitchen and all that it
won’t be those goals that make us feel better it will be
it will be like just inherent that we
feel better our thoughts will be so good
at making us feel good that we will just
always be able to do that whenever we
need to now it’s not to say that life is
always perfect and it’s easy but if we
get good at those tools during the journey
that when we get there that’s when it’s
sustainable okay so
self confidence self-love body image these 100
come from our own thoughts about
ourselves okay body image self-love
self-confidence it’s 100 our thoughts
it’s not what we weigh
it’s not um you know what kind of
clothes we wear or anything like that or
or especially it’s not what other people
think of us okay it’s a hundred percent
what we think of ourselves so we say our
thoughts create our feelings our
feelings create our actions so let’s
look at what self-love might look like
self-love might be when we look in the
mirror no matter what we wear no matter
what size we are we love ourselves
anyways how could that be possible now
this might be something that’s really
slippery for you right now i know it was
for me in the very beginning
but the idea is that if we hate ourselves now
i promise you that when you get to that
weight you’re still gonna hate yourself
you’re just gonna hate different things
about yourself and it’s it’s you’re
gonna hate the fact that you feel like
you can’t keep it you’re gonna hate the fact that you feel like
you’re not the type of person who can
maintain that and then you’re just gonna
end up eating again and you know going
through that process all over again
but if we can learn to love ourselves
during that journey now we don’t have to
love ourselves this second but we have
to be like learning to love ourselves in the
process of learning to love that so that
when we get to that goal weight it feels
comfortable we feel comfortable in our
own skin and we love ourselves now this is work
and the way that this works technically
is with our thoughts so our thoughts
create our feelings if our thoughts are
all about self-loathing and hating
ourselves and all that that’s what we’re
going to feel we’re going to feel
self-loathing and when we feel that kind
of stuff that’s when we overeat that’s
when we binge and all that kind of stuff
but if instead we can learn to shift our
thoughts towards things like
i love myself at any size
i love myself no matter what my arms
look like or no matter what my stomach
looks like i still love myself
that creates feelings of self-love it
creates feelings of softness and
tenderness and when we feel those kinds
of feelings about ourselves our actions
are much more positive you see the difference there
but then the question is always like
well how do i get to those thoughts
that’s the rub there so we have a lot of
tools in the eat to live family that i
give you in order to do that i can’t get
into all of them in this podcast but one
of them specifically is like a thought
bridge or a thought ladder so i like
this thought ladder idea
where we think like if our stomach is
the problem area that we’re not happy
with for instance instead of just having
these very very negative thoughts first
we want to notice what thoughts we’re
having but we want to start to try to
find a thought that’s a little easier
for us to believe
but feels a little bit more positive so
for instance if the thought if the
general thought is my stomach is so
terrible i hate my stomach i wish i
wasn’t you know so fat i wish it didn’t
have so much fat on it or something if
that’s our general thought
what if we switched to a thought that’s
still believable of this is what a human
stomach looks like now it’s totally
neutral in that thought right this is
what a human stomach looks like and if
we really think about that thought we
know it’s true and we can believe it
right away because we are human and we
have that stomach right we can also
start to think wow there’s a lot of
other people that have similar stomachs
to mine or stomachs that even have more
fat on them or you know just from a from
a factual standpoint right so we can start to really
open up those thoughts a little bit so
instead of just thinking i hate my
stomach we can think this is what a
stomach looks like and when we start to
just realize oh this is what a stomach looks like
it takes out some of that negativity so
what we would do in that case is
we start to notice that we’re having
those very negative thoughts and we
shift we choose a different thought in
that moment which might be this more
neutral thought when we have more
neutral thoughts about ourselves maybe
to start with we don’t necessarily have
to start off super positive and loving
and perfect right away if we’re just
starting from a place of more neutral
that is at least during our day gonna
create more of a neutral feeling which
does not lead to massive overeating and
binges it leads to more just you know
neutral type actions okay so that’s
that’s kind of how we start shifting we
have a lot more in the eat to live
family in the academy
so we would do the same thing with our
confidence in our body image so that’s
sort of the tool number one
sort of first bucket of shifts that i
would love for you to make that can help
you get to that consistency and
sustainability in your weight loss and your
your body image and all that
the second one is self-care and i have a
um a very particular perspective on
self-care i’m going to go through this
one briefly we’ll do more on this later
but i love this idea of self-care being
because typically we hear about
self-care being
manicures and pedicures and baths and you know
sort of aesthetic things that have to do
with the outside of our body but i
instead want us to shift our definition
of self-care and i want us to shift it to
anything that creates a feeling of sort of
self-love a feeling of
progress a feeling of
you know actually taking care of
yourself so let’s look at the difference between
now this is going to maybe sound a
little bit weird but this is exactly
what i mean
let’s look at the difference between
getting a manicure
not that there’s anything wrong with
getting manicures okay so let me just
say that first but i just want to talk
about the definition of self-care
so the difference between getting a
manicure and doing your budget or
getting out of debt for instance okay so
that’s like a financial goal maybe
now the getting out of debt one might
take a really long time and you know i
am no stranger to to debt from my you
know past lives of going to expensive
college and all these kinds of you know
using credit cards and things like that
but when i started shifting out of that
and realizing that actually paying off those
credit cards and paying off that school
loan debt and all that actually made me
feel so good
the difference between doing that and
getting a manicure
worlds of difference right so i want us
to redefine self-care as anything that
moves us forward that progresses us now
let’s talk about the manicure for a
second so i look at a manicure like okay
that’s nice and everything but it’s
something you have to just keep doing
like it goes away the effects of it go away
you know it’s it’s something you have to
keep reapplying in a way right whereas
getting out of debt that’s a permanent
self-love self-care type decision right
now but let’s talk about the manicure
for a second
it’s not that there aren’t any benefits
from it because let’s say that going to
get a manicure is actually your your
release from you know the the
responsibilities of parenting or being
at the home doing all the things or
whatever so maybe that is the time that
you can take at this moment
to and maybe that does create a feeling
of well-being but that’s the difference
i want you to look at here is this sort
of temporary pleasure that disappears
and you have to reapply
in a way right like taking a bath those
kinds of things or
is it something that really builds and
grows and can sort of compound on itself
right so getting out of debt is one of
those things um
keeping your house clean for instance
could be another one keeping your house
free of clutter you know
making time for your friends when you
don’t do that very often or
not doing social media so much right
learning to do things that actually
build you up instead of sort of deplete
you right so that’s that’s kind of what
i want you to look at the difference
between self-care and and something that maybe
seems like self-care but actually isn’t
self-care so be considering self-care
in that way of what can i actually do
for myself that’s going to move me
forward that’s going to give me some
progress that’s what we wanted to find self-care as okay
and then the third thing that i want to
talk about today just very briefly is
worthiness because interestingly as a
private coach as a life coach
i find that all of our issues actually
stem from a feeling of
lack of worthiness right we all feel
like we’re just not worthy of the thing
that we’re doing or the thing that we’re
trying to attempt
and this one is a pretty deep one and it
can be slippery to hold on to but let me
just give you a few thoughts on this and
and i want you to start considering this
so brene brown who is a researcher on
guilt and shame and she’s just an
incredible woman you can look up her ted
talks i’ll try to put something in the
show notes about her as well if you
haven’t heard about her
but she talks about worthiness in such a beautiful way
that i had never heard before i heard it
from her and it just
i allowed myself to let it shift my
entire thought about worthiness and so
some things that she says about
worthiness are that worthiness is
inherent so somebody’s self-worth is inherent
it is there from the moment they’re born and it is there
at the moment they die and it never
changes up or down you know more
self-worth less self-worth that never
changes at all not even a spec no matter
what we do or what we don’t do in our life
the way that you can kind of hold on to
this a little bit i go so much more in
depth on this in the academy and there’s
many other resources that you can look
into this as well but i think it’s
totally worth it to start to understand
self-worth and understand our own self-worth
so that we can feel better during the
journey so that the journey becomes
pleasurable and then the end goal
becomes pleasurable as well
right if we’re if we have this inner
wellspring i like to think of that like
a bubbling spring of just worth and self-worth and
knowing that internally
we are always worthy when we have that
and we can hold on to that it makes the
journey so much easier and more
pleasurable and
it makes it feel so much more
sustainable when we have that so this
Idea self-worth being
something so the example that i like to
give is the example of a baby all right
so when a baby is born it doesn’t matter
who the baby grows up to be
that baby we all consider worthy all of
us like anyone looking at a baby would
consider a baby worthy because they’re
innocent you know they haven’t done
anything wrong they don’t know anything
yet you know they they deserve love and
care and all these things
but somewhere along the line in our
society we start to equate self-worth
with our actions what we have done or
haven’t done so we start to think that
our worthiness comes from what we do or
don’t do now this is not true this is crap
and especially if you look at the brene
brown stuff it all supports this idea
and you can find this in so many other
places as well this idea that
no matter what we do or don’t do
we are worthy we are worthy of
everything we want we are worthy of you
know i mean just think of like
those babies who don’t have enough food
to eat right and are they worthy of food
absolutely are they worthy of love
absolutely when does it change when do
they become less worthy of things well
they never are right because we are
human because we are all here we all
deserve the same amount of awesomeness
and we all have that within ourselves now
this is where it gets a little tricky
and we will probably talk about this
more in the future but i don’t want to
get into it too much today but
it starts to become problematic because
we start to think well so and so is more
worthy than this other person because of
these things they have done right mother
teresa versus jeffrey dahmer kind of an idea right
but that’s actually not how worthiness works
everyone is as worthy as anyone else no
matter what they do or don’t do
worthiness is inherent it’s a hundred
percent there it’s always there
and so so i’m going to leave it here and
we have so much more that we can say on
this and we will in the future as i said
there’s so much more on the academy but
i just want you to start asking yourself
these questions how could these things be true
how could these things be true and how
could i incorporate these things into my
life because i promise you
the stuff that has to do with feelings
in the heart and our inner mind and ourinner
our inner workings this is everything
when it comes to sustainability and long-term
you know goal seeking and maintenance
and keeping of goals right
all of these things that go together
everything we talked about in this
series they all go together to create
this holistic view of
what it takes to be successful long term
and it all comes from the feelings
inside of us whether we whether we love
ourselves whether we’re confident
whether we feel we can do it whether we
feel worthy of it and
when you put all of those things
together as well as the things we talked
about that are very practical right how
to use the scale how to not beat
yourself up how to get into that mindset
how to how to shift your thoughts
deliberately and then of course
why are we eating this way why do we
want to eat healthy food why is it so
important right we’re looking at all the
specific reasons why we do eat to live
all these practical things
when we put all that together
that is what creates a successful
journey now you might be looking at it
and going oh my gosh that sounds like so
much work right if we’re doing all this
self-care we’re working on our thoughts
and all this kind of stuff yeah it is a
lot of work but guess what it is the
most important work we can ever do
because when we get this stuff down
we are creating
a sustainable legacy for not only
ourselves we not only make our life feel good
but we’re creating a legacy for others
to see as well our friends and family
children right we’re creating something
that just bubbles over to everyone else
and isn’t that what we’re here for isn’t
it about love and relationships and
connection and creating all of this
amazingness for everyone around us isn’t that
what it’s all about
maybe i just urge you to question it and
look for it for yourself see if it’s
something that you’re interested in and
if you are i can take you on this whole
journey and we’ll do this together okay thank you so much
guess what we put on free eat to live
challenges every so often and we want
you to be part of them lately we’ve been
doing five day healthy eating challenges
where you get free recipes meal plans
and grocery lists as well as prep
instructions and so much more to help
you learn the rhythm of the eat to live
diet in an easy accessible way and you
just might lose some weight while you’re
at it visit thewateringwealth.com
challenge to learn more
oh and listen my dear friend if you ever
felt you were alone in this eat to live
lifestyle thing well you’re not there’s
a huge private safe community of all of
us learning how to eat to live lose the
weight and love the process for good and
it’s called the eat to live family it’s
my affordable monthly group coaching
membership and there’s only one thing missing
you find out more at thewateringmoth.com family
