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How can you love your body even if you don’t even if you kind of want it to look a little bit different?
So firstly, I want to tell you guys that the Eat to Live family is open for registration right now. Click here for the link if you want to head over there right now, but I’ll tell you more about that at the end of this video.
In the Eat to Live family which is a monthly group coaching membership that I have a ton of folks in, I have something called my weight loss vlog which is a vlog – a whole set of videos that I started making in October of last year. I make a video almost every day about exactly how I’m losing the weight, right now, after the birth of my twins in June. It’s now April so I’ve been doing this for October, November, December, January, March and April – seven months. I have tons and tons of videos in there and I put all of those in the Eat to Live Family for everyone to see, as part of their monthly membership. I wanted to share this with you just so you could see an example of what one of those videos are like. There are so many different lessons in there but this is just one of them where I talk about self-care, I talk about self-confidence a lot and body love and how we can love ourselves at any size and love ourselves no matter what’s going on in our lives or what’s happened to us in the past. How we can come back to that love that we all are capable of but that some of us have just sort of forgotten over the years.
How to love ourselves, how to feel better in order to eat better.
This particular video is one of my weight loss vlogs from 15th November 2020 and I’d learned a lesson about myself that day that actually my husband delivered to me – about pride and how to be proud of yourself no matter what.
So Saturday rolls around and my husband is around to watch the kids and I decide I want to go for a walk with my daughter. I’m getting dressed for the walk and we’re in kind of nice weather where we can wear t-shirts for walks – we don’t need to have jackets or anything like that but when I wear a t-shirt like my arms show and I don’t like how my arms look and I have these maternity clothes that are a little bit too big for me and the clothes are large or extra large which is not my size. I’m usually a small to medium in maternity clothes and regular clothes anyways but I started wearing these clothes because they fit my belly, my postpartum ballet which as we know is not normal sized because of the stretching of the muscles and things like that. So I start to wear these clothes and I put on some of this type of legging, not like a Capri legging that I would normally wear because it had these really bold patterns on it which I felt made my butt and my hips look really big. Then I put on a t-shirt that was big enough that would cover my belly a little bit but it was still kind of showing my shape a little bit more than I would like. So at this time, I was feeling super self-conscious about my body and the clothes that I was wearing and yet they were the only clothes I had that really fit. So I’m having this whole dialogue going through my head. I’m downstairs, I’m getting the water ready, I’m getting some snacks for my daughter as we’re gonna go for this walk together. I’m getting everything ready – get my sunglasses, my sunscreen on whatever and I’m just having so many self-conscious thoughts in my head. My husband’s helping me get my daughter’s stuff ready and then I turn to him and I say “okay this is gonna sound a little bit silly maybe, but I just want you to know that I see how terrible I look”. I said this to him. “I see how overweight I am and I just want you to know that I’m not giving up and I’m gonna keep trying”. AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I HAD 2 HEADS!! He said “what are you talking about?” He said “You look amazing” and said it was really silly that I wasn’t thinking anything like that and “you are so beautiful and you look amazing and I think you look super sexy blah blah” He’s going into that whole thing you know, but he finishes by saying “Be proud!” He said, “Look at what your body just did. Look at what you have upstairs – three beautiful children. And your body just made two at a time! Look ok at what you just did!”
When we were first dating, he was a salsa dance instructor on the side and he was a professional salsa dancer too and he used to have a thing that he would teach in class, of standing with confidence – shoulders back. When you’re dancing you don’t want to be slouched over as it looks silly right? It’s best to have good posture while you’re dancing. So I remembered when I first started dating him – this man had the best posture in the world and I just thought it was so sexy. We would talk about it and I would say that’s so wonderful and was like yes – he’s just you know carry yourself like that and it’s attractive and it feels good. So I remember him telling me that back in the day and during this conversation when I was really self-conscious, he reminded me about when we used to talk about our posture. He said “Just walk with pride. Shoulders back. Boobs out. Walk with pride – you just had two babies. You look amazing” So he said “walk with pride” several times and it stuck in my head. Now it wasn’t my thought. I didn’t choose to think to walk with pride because I have not been walking with pride for months. So I’d had this little glimmer of “yeah my body made two babies BUT.. whatever, I still don’t look how I want to look” but no his – was walk with pride full stop!l Walk with pride like no disclaimers! Just walk with pride.
You could look at it like “oh well he gave me permission to think that way or what if I don’t have a husband like that or I don’t have someone to tell me that or whatever” but no all he did was offer a different thought. It’s not that I have to feel prideful because my husband loves me. I’m not using his attraction to me or his love for me to fuel my pride. I’m using my pride to fuel my pride. I’m choosing to be proud of what my body did instead of being not proud of what my body did. I have this whole dialogue in my head of needing approval from other people. From people on the outside – this could apply to your friends, when you’re going to work, it could apply to anything you’re doing. If I had an office job it would be the same thing. Going to the office thinking “well my co-workers must be thinking that I’m so overweight now and they must be like oh poor Cheri her tummy’s so big now and look what happened to her during pregnancy or whatever” But who cares what they’re thinking! I’m going to walk with pride.
So, as I was out for my walk I just kept having that. I was having that phrase run through my head “walk with pride, walk with pride, walk with pride”. I couldn’t stop it. It was wonderful. It felt so good. And I just wanted to offer it to you as information because that’s what really got me feeling kind of good the last couple of days. It wasn’t what my husband said it was what I internalized which was pride.
Something that I heard from one of my favorite Instagrammers Ashley Rose Reeves. Now I don’t necessarily like how many products she’s hawking but i do love her main message which is the idea of body positivity and inclusivity for everyone around you. I love those messages. I especially love her body positivity message about how our bodies were made specifically to do what we are supposed to do. What I am supposed to do my body was made for that. Giselle Bunchen the supermodel – her body was made to do that. An Olympic sprinter, with these wonderful tall muscular long legs – that’s what they were meant to do. I was not meant to be any of those people, I was meant to be a 38 year old woman with three kids, twins and I’m meant to share this message of Eat to Live with whoever will listen! You have a purpose as well I don’t know what it is because I can’t see you but you have a purpose with your body you are meant to do. These things with your body Ashley talks a lot about. She’s a very tall, bigger woman like – not overweight – just tall and big and so she talked about how she used to speak at schools and she would talk about this message of body positivity and she realized that having a commanding presence for her was so useful! She loved it and she used it to talk about this message. You don’t have to be a public figure to know to have a purpose. You don’t have to have an audience as I do. You just have to understand that your body was meant for you. It’s meant to do exactly what you do and what you have done and we are meant to take care of it and treat it as if it’s the only one we have … because it is!! I am not perfect at body positivity especially at a time where I’m feeling like my body isn’t quite where I want it to be. We don’t have to want our bodies to be where they are. We don’t have to condone exactly how our bodies look we just have to love them no matter what and that is the message that has come to me because of my husband’s words “walk with pride”. Being proud of my journey.
It’s my journey:
- she has nothing to do with it
- he has nothing to do with it
- they have nothing to do with it
- nobody else has anything to do with it with but me
It’s my body. I’m inside my body and my body is meant to be doing exactly what it’s doing. It is meant to have some extra weight on it right now. My breasts are producing milk because that’s what they’re meant to do. My thighs have some extra weight on them – they’re meant to right now and I can change that if iIwant and I can work through that but there is no use in arguing with reality because my body is the way it is right now. I have extra weight. I have acne from not eating very well.
It is exactly where it’s supposed to be because it is exactly where I took it!
I decided to have children and they turned into twins and that was just what I was meant to do. How can we love where we are right now while thinking – “I love where I am because I know I’m gonna change”. No that’s not it! – tt’s “I love where I am full stop!” I’m walking with pride right now because I know my journey. I know why I am where I am. I know why I look the way I look and I am proud of the life that I had created and I’m proud of the person that I am right now, not who I will be. Not who I was last year. but who I am right now.
This other video is part of one of the live coaching calls that I do for the Eat to Live family, where I give a little bit of a lesson every once in a while and this lesson was about body confidence. It shows a lot about exactly what my body looks like and how could I possibly can’t be confident at the weight I was at when I made that video and in the way that my tummy is really strange now after my pregnancy I share all that stuff. And how could I possibly because, you can probably tell that I’m losing weight, but you can tell that my tummy doesn’t really look that much different. I still look pregnant, still have a very pregnant looking shape and what I teach in this particular video is how you could love yourself even if you don’t love your body at the moment and how can you love your body even if you want it to look a little bit different.
I wanted to wear a very tight shirt at the start of this video to make a point and then cover up again. You may well know what I look like from the weight loss vlogs. I wanted to be very clear about what my body looked like right then. I was feeling stocky and overweight. I certainly had extra fat on my body. I’m didn’t want to go to the negative and say “oh I’m fat” – not doing a negative name-calling thing. I just literally was saying I have fat in my body and if I turned to the side and totally relax my stomach I still looked pregnant. I would definitely get mistaken for pregnant and would have a lot of comments made to me if I had gone to a store dressed like this. This has happened to me so many times and it’s why I cover up nowadays because I just don’t want that embarrassment of someone else seeing me and them thinking I’m pregnant and then my having to tell them I’m not.
And not even like just my embarrassment – it’s embarrassing for them too because of course, you should never say something to a woman unless you know she’s actually pregnant, I wanted to be slimmer. I wanted to be down about 30 pounds. My thighs were larger than I’d like them to be. I didn’t want to talk about how I could have been confident right then with my body the way it was. Some of those who actually watched the video might have thought “wow she looks great, I wish I looked like that. I wish I could be that thin already” There might have been some who were thinking ” poor girl – look at what that pregnancy did to her. That’s so sad that she has that kind of a tummy left over”. The reason that I knew that these are comments that someone could make about my body is that people had made those comments about my body on YouTube already when I did that last video. In the comment section, there’s a bunch of people who’ll say stuff like that like. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with that” “I’m so sorry that you still look that way” There are some people who say “wow you look great for having had twins blah blah blah” I wanted to give you this information because these are maybe the things that are going through the viewer’s mind about my body as they saw it then. I know that these are the things that were going through my audience’s mind on YouTube because they’ve told me.
I wanted people to think about their own minds – of what do they think about themselves when they looked in the mirror. If they have thoughts like that about my body they certainly have had thoughts like that about their own bodies and I would imagine that their thoughts are probably even worse! Because I know mine have been in the past. The thoughts that I had about my body in the very beginning were very negative.
Body confidence at any size. When you see somebody walking around who’s confident what do you see? What actions do you see out of that person? Your thoughts about your body can vary pretty widely throughout the day even at exactly the same weight. So that means they’re not facts, they are just thoughts
As I said, my husband used to be a salsa dancer and he would instruct his class (and me!) shoulders back, boobs out, chin up! This stance/posture means you’re going to attract good feelings for yourself. if you’re promoting this goodness, you’re pushing that into the world but you’re bringing it to yourself too. We have to retrain ourselves but we can train ourselves to be this confident no matter what?
But what might be the downside to walking with confidence? Well to turn that question around – what’s the upside to slouching and being upset with yourself and hating your body no matter what size you are?
Others are going to judge you. If you’re strutting your stuff people might say “oh what business does she have strutting her stuff at that weight?” If other people are judging you it actually means they’re judging themselves. That’s what that judgment is. Other people are going to judge you either way – whether you’re slouched over or whether you’re standing tall. The main judgment comes from the fact that people see somebody confident like that and they just wish they could be confident too. They feel like, “well if she can be confident I should be able to be confident too and I can’t so I’m gonna judge her instead.”
Imagine all the other people around us – let’s pretend they don’t exist. Let’s say we go about our day shoulders up boobs out, chin up – excited, happy, vibrant! Even if we don’t love our body the way it looks we can still be confident in the person that we are. Let’s say we go through our whole day like that. How do you think our day is going to be different than if we have a day where we feel really down about ourselves?
One of our members says when she stopped coloring her hair and went naturally gray she would get so many comments – “you’re too young to be gray or you’ll change your mind and go back to coloring.” Because those people have their own thoughts about what gray means to them. They are not willing to give themselves the permission to be confident.
Join the Eat To Live Family!
I just wanted to share these couple of videos with you so you could get an idea of the content that’s waiting for you. There are hundreds of videos in the academy – in this weight loss vlog, the live coaching calls. We do two live coaching calls every month and there’s some teaching like I showed you in there but mostly it is live coaching hot seat one-on-one coaching but in front of the group.
Someone will come on if they have a struggle they’re working with and I will help them through that struggle and get them to kind of come out of their head a little bit – see things from a different perspective. This type of coaching is life coaching, mixed with healthy eating, mixed with weight loss. This mixture is so powerful. It is changing lives. It’s so much fun to see someone go from being stuck in what they were thinking and thinking there’s no other solution and go to completely open up about it and feeling good again. And then be able to get right back on track with their food. It’s just incredible. It’s my life’s work and it makes me so happy.
I would LOVE for you to have a similar type of life transformation, thought transformation, feeling transformation.
So you can be proud of yourself, so you can love yourself, so you can feel better, so you can eat better and maybe look better if you feel like you end up wanting to lose weight or anything if that’s part of your journey! You don’t have to lose weight at all this family is about creating a family space where we can all be together and Eat to Live. And if that includes some weight loss, cool! But mostly what’s happening is people are realizing that their thoughts are controlling so much and when they can get out of their thoughts and when they can learn how to choose their thoughts deliberately. That’s when they change all the things in their life to make them feel more positive and more empowered.
You get access to the Eat to Live academy which is an eight-week digital coaching course that gives you the whole foundation and all the tools that I talk about in my private coaching. Any kind of coaching that I do is included in the Eat to Live Academy which is included in your membership for the Eat to Live Family (which is kind of crazy because that in itself is like a $497 value and I just like to throw it in for your monthly membership). There’s also a members-only recipe book that we’re adding to all the time. Everybody in there is interested in healthy eating – whole foods, plant-based kind of eating.
My clients would always tell me “you know I don’t know anyone else that eats this way. It’s kind of lonely!”
So that’s why I wanted to create the Family was so that we had a place that we could actually congregate together and be supportive. We’ve even had actual in-person meetings come out of this too, where people have found out that they live close to each other and they meet up. So much is included there the group
- coaching calls
- the academy
- the live calls
- bonus mixers – calls where we get to know each other
- a full community that’s private and totally safe.
- my weight loss vlog
- quick start program (that will get you on track right away straight towards your goals)
- free Eat to Live challenges
it’s open for registration right now – http://info.thewateringmouth.com/jointhefamily
And it is closing tomorrow so you have to get in because once I close registration you can’t get in as I need to be able to have time to focus on my new members to get them on their journey.
I did the math and it was like $1322 worth of value right when you join the Eat to Live family and you can just stand for a month and check it out see how you like it. Cancel any time kind of a thing so there’s really no risk.
If you didn’t get to sign up for it, sign up for the WAIT LIST, because we’re going to be opening again fairly soon and we’d love to see you the next time.
I hope to see you in the Eat to Live family soon!